First let me start by saying, Im probably going to make a great many of you uncomfortable in this diary, I dont share most of your views on sexuality or marriage or fidelity or monogamy whatsoever, and I certainly make no apologies for that. Second, I'll make it clear, I don't know Mr. Spitzer personally nor Mr. McGreevey at all, I dont know if what Im about to say really applies to their lives or not, but I'm gonna say it.
It needs to be said.
Ive watched in curious fascination over the past weeks as the Spitzer scandal has unraveled. Insanely priced call girls, claims of "weird sex" an obvious oblivious idiot of a girl becoming an internet celebrity. I've also watched as all our favorite news personalities have suddenly decided they are both professional psychological researchers as well as psychiatrists,psychologists, marriage counselors and the like. Frankly it sickens me.
The 2nd day into the Scandal we get a doctor on the news talking about Mr. Spitzer's "OBVIOUS feelings of empowerment and feelings of being above the law". Right. Im sure the details bear that out.
What ARE the details of his sexual encounters with "Kristen". I have not seen them yet. That being said, a very common profile for men in places of power such as Mr. Spitzer, is to take on the role of a submissive in the bedroom. "Kristen" for me seems to be alluding to as much when she clearly says "he wanted to do things that were obviously not safe". When a call girl says that, she isn't talking about unsafe for her, she's talking about unsafe for him.
Call girls don't leave their selves open to harm (especially ones getting paid this much) by their tricks. It just violates the unwritten rules. They will however take their tricks as far as THEY want to go until death, in the end the tricks' life is meaningless to a call girl. To go a step further, if all Spitzer really wanted was to have sex with young cute girls because of his "almighty power of being governor" Lets be honest here, he wouldnt have to pay a dime, power is sexy like none other.
Moving along, if Spitzer is a sexual submissive. The armchair quarterbacking of his mental state really starts to annoy me. Like most men who are in positions of power and engage in submissive sexual behavior, it is an expression of 'trying to live on the other side'. Its quite honestly not a condemnation of their spouses or families, or a lack of love for them (but certainly in these cases a lack of consideration). I believe honestly in the future we're going to see the details of Mr. Spitzer's life, and its not going to be the cute n tidy package of a Horribly corrupt man-of-power using his influence to "get away" with things.
What's more, and here's where you can all get upset with me. A spouse is supposed to support you, and know your inner emotions, your desires, you're supposed to share, and if you feel thats not happening you're supposed to ask questions.
What you DON'T do, is pretend there's nothing wrong, live your life as usual then EXPLODE when you find out something weird is going on. Thats a god damned cop out. At this point people are yelling as Mrs. Spitzer for even sticking by him, "why hasn't she LEFT HIM, she needs to TEACH HIM A LESSON" , listen, take you're uppity ignorant bullshit elsewhere.
YOU DON'T KNOW THEM. How do you know she didn't know the whole damned time? You don't. If she didn't know , how do you know she didn't suspect and either didn't care, or was willing to ride it out hoping he might stop. You don't know a thing about the woman , what she knows or knew , or how she actually feels about it. How do you know she didn't actually CONDONE it, apparently today Former Governor McGreevey's aide came out and said McGreevey's wife and McGreevey and himself participated in group sex. Maybe that is true, maybe its not, but geez, does it not sound plausible to you that college educated individuals who end up public office, sometimes have spouses with similar educations and just maybe, POSSIBLY have sexual tastes a little different than the rest of us?
I mean politicians are typically NOT like the rest of us, in the terms of what they will put up with in running for office, or the compromises (extremely painful) of their own values and ethics , which often must be done to move forward with laws and legal decisions. Does it actually surprise you that sometimes their wives are not oblivious little armcandy? It doesn't surprise me thats for sure.
Finally, my point here is, I don't CARE if Spitzer was possibly a sexual submissive, or McGreevey's wife may have had sex with his aide and himself. I don't believe in monogamy , I myself am not limited to simply straight sex (both sexuality-wise and activity wise). If either of those are the cases, we should as a community leave them the hell alone.
Spitzer broke the law by using a prostitute, that was dumb, treat him like the rest of us and fine him. Thats what he deserves. He resigned in shame, thats his mea culpa, the man is absolved of all guilt as far as I'm concerned, If he actually does have issues to work out with his family, thats fine, but those aren't my issues , certainly not business , and m certainly not going to armchair quarterback his psychological state from a blog (Or a news program or anywhere else) I just don't know the guy.
postlogue: Yes I realize that in making suggestions Spitzer might be a submissive is in a way armchair quarterbacking, but that is a device more so than a declaration as so many of these presumptuous assholes on TV have made. I'm saying "what IF this is true, in fact it totally COULD be true...so why act as if you know, because you DON'T just as I don't"
In a world where everyone worships Oprah and Doctor Phil, where everything is always a cut n dry case of "you cheated on your spouse you horrible person" every other reality, (which to me starts counting as the bulk) gets pushed to the side. Its just too difficult to boil down to simplicity, so they take the easy road out, they stamp it USDA Grade A "cheating" and move on. Human sexuality and relationships just aren't that simple guys. Never have been and probably never will be. Sorry to disappoint you.
oh and always always try to include a poll.